[closed to disassembling] - I Thought You Were Dead

[whatsfondue]

Bad luck always comes in threes.

Steve had never been the superstitious sort before (he was Catholic). First there had been an accident with Banner that had lead to a last minute switch-up in assigned team members for this mission. Then there had been an accident in an Stark Industries owned factory that left Stark worried, twitchy and furious. Not a good state of mind to be doing a mission with.

The third of course was the attack that had brought down the quinjet over the thickly grown jungles Steve was currently hiking alone through right now, having been forced (for once it was not his idea to jump out of a plane without a parachute) to hastily exit the plane while it was on fire. He'd been separated from the rest of the team in the explosion; he hoped they were alright...no, he KNOWS they are all fine. Now it was only a matter of getting back to civilization and getting in back in touch with the rest of the Avengers. Any civilization, he wasn't picky at this point.

He didn't know that by the time he made his way out of the bush into civilization, more than a week would have passed.

Comments

[disassembling]

"So does that mean you would have sex with me if I wanted to?" Because if he was stupid for having to ask, that meant that it should have been obvious in the answer. That must have meant that it might have been him holding up the process, which was something he needed to ponder over the day, if it even took him that long. "I suppose... but sex feels good, and I really want to feel good sometime."

He curled his metal arm around Steve tighter so his friend could escape him completely, but he was still looking over his shoulder at Steve. "Oh," he said softly before he nodded. "Who did we lose our virginity to?"

[whatsfondue]

"Yes." He finally answered in a strangled tone of voice, his face turning redder. This was like jumping off of a cliff; there was no turning back from this. "I would." He too a deep breath to steady himself. "But Bucky, there are other ways of feeling good, you know that right? It...doesn't have to be sex. It doesn't even have to be me. You have choices."

He stilled when Bucky tightened his grip on him. "It was as long time ago. There was a dame you were sweet on for a couple months when you were seventeen. Her name was Maggie." He shrugged. "I remember she had blonde hair and you went into far more detail then I liked about it. For me it was during the war bonds tour. One of the chorus girls."

[disassembling]

There was a sort of finality to the declaration, and he watched Steve's face somehow achieve an even more red colouration. He almost worried his friend was going to have some kind of brain bleed at any moment, but still he wouldn't take his arm off of his friend. "Eating makes me feel good too. And showering. And sleeping." He had a few things that he found comfort in, but it hadn't been anywhere like that, to feel that draw to another person. "I want it to be you. You... are the one I want if I was well enough for that."

He closed his eyes, trying to imagine this dame but drew a blank. Instead, he more imagined Steve kissing him sweetly, arm around his shoulders, laughter in those blue eyes. He turned his head and suddenly sought out Steve's lips, thinking of chorus girls and dames with blonde hair but nothing like the firm solid warmth of Steve.

[whatsfondue]

What worried Steve was that the things Bucky listed, eating, sleeping and showering, were all normal things one did as part of life. (Sex too was normal, he had to admit.) And once Bucky recovered more of himself, he'll see that too. And recognize that Steve was not the only fish in the great wide sea. "And when you are, Bucky. I'll be here. So there's no rush, alright?" Steve answered, his voice gentle and patient. He meant it too. He didn't think there would be anyone else in his life, now or in the future, not matter how many people Natasha tried to set him up with.

Steve froze when Bucky turned his head and leaned in to kiss him. His eyes widened and his mouth parted automatically, his first reaction was to want to say something along the lines of 'what were you thinking?'. After a moment however his eyes slid halfway shut slowly and he leaned in as well, apply gentle pressure back with his lips. An experiment by Bucky maybe? If so, he should make it a good one.

[disassembling]

He was still getting used to having access to doing 'normal' things, and there hadn't been one that he didn't like either. However, even he knew that sex was a step in a very certain direction and not to be taken lightly. He had to be ready for it, for the commitment that would probably tax him both physically and emotionally. "Are you sure there isn't? I mean... you could get snapped up at any time," he murmured softly, his eyebrows drawing together. He wanted Steve to be happy, to settle down with someone nice who could care for his friend give Steve whatever the man needed.

Apparently kissing was a little like riding a bike; muscles didn't forget how to do it. It helped that Steve's lips parted immediately, and despite the awkward angle for his neck, he kissed his friend deeply and thoroughly, his tongue teasing the parted lips, flicking just inside in a sensual off of what more they could have if he took things further. He admitted that like eating, sleeping and showering... he liked kissing.

[whatsfondue]

Despite occasionally awkward moments (and feelings on Steve's part) between them, things were comfortable between them for the most part. That they were still pressed closed together despite their current conversation was proof of that. And despite what his body wants, Steve could do without sex (as he has so far) if it will change things for the worse between them. "I'm sure. And I'm not some sort of prize to be won!" Steve didn't deny that getting married, starting a family had been a distant dream of his once. But people and circumstances change and for him, they had changed a lot. "I'm content with what I have, Bucky. I don't need to settle down to be happy."

Between them, Bucky had been the one with the most experience in kissing before, being the more popular one. Even without actually remembering who he'd kissed before and the circumstances behind past kisses, it showed. He tilted his head automatically so that Bucky wasn't craning his head at such a bad angle and let Bucky kiss him as deeply and thoroughly as he wished, Steve's own tongue flicking out to touch Bucky's playfully just once before letting the kiss end. "Good?"

[disassembling]

Well, he knew that, but he also knew that Steve was very handsome and surely someone could win the man's heart and completely deserve Steve too. He was still too much of a liability for him to trust himself to be anything but Steve's friend and protective shadow. He knew that he would like to try sex, but... while feeling good had been there this morning, he suspected that Steve would never let it go that far without being certain of how he could handle it. "Well... you still never know. Someone could catch your eye at any time...."

The kiss was warm and wet and wonderful, and it felt him feeling content and hypersensitive to their current closeness, which he didn't regret in the least nor wanted to change. His tongue flicked against Steve's before the kiss ended and there was a thrill in tasting his friend on his tongue like that. He blinked slowly, a deep contented sigh leaving him. "Mmm, I think we need more practice," he said softly. "Just... to be sure." He leaned in to see if he could recapture Steve's lips.

[whatsfondue]

"And I'll let you know if I do." Steve answered dryly. He wouldn't object to it if it came his way, but he doubted it would though. It was like he told Natasha once, it was hard to find someone else with shared life experiences. Or even coming close to it. In fact the only one left was Bucky now, even if Bucky didn't remember most of it. He was very well aware that sex was not love, but he has crossed any number of lines for Bucky already and would continue to do so. "You'll...you'll do the same thing? Don't let your entire world be wrapped up in me. I'm a...starting point but there's lots more people out there. Eventually you'll feel well enough to go out again and don't let me hold you back when you do."

That was a much better kiss than he had with Natasha. Then again the circumstances weren't the best at that time, with them trying to dodge HYDRA agents on their tail and the kiss only a distraction. Later, Natasha had told him it was like kissing a dead fish and he couldn't help but feel a bit offended by that. At least nobody else has complained. "Don't you mean just me? You got your share of practice and more in the old days." Even as he spoke he was leaning in as well. This time however he slid halfway off of Bucky so that they were more lying side by side again and neither of them would be craning their necks in odd positions.

[disassembling]

He hummed softly in some sort of non-committed agreement, having no idea how anyone besides Steve and the Avengers were going to put up with him long-term, let alone engage in any sort of friendly relationship with him. He knew he wasn't to narrow himself down or close doors before they opened, but there was a lot of things that needed to change before he could venture out to be anywhere too far from Steve.

He didn't protest when Steve slid slightly to the side, weaseling his way out from under the larger man so he could cuddle up to his friend while the lay side-by-side instead. "No, we both need practice," he murmured, slipping an arm around Steve's back and kissing with growing enthusiasm and heat, enjoying the taste and feel of Steve's lips against his own, not even bothering to be subtle about sneaking as close as he could either.

[whatsfondue]

Steve took the non-verbal to mean: maybe later, probably never.  He made a mental note to ask Sam for suggestions to encourage Bucky to start getting a bit more out there.  He knows he's probably spoiled himself with Bucky's undivided attention so far. 

"Excuses." He whispered against Bucky's lips before closing his eyes and losing himself into heat and pleasure of the kiss. He suspected this wouldn't be the last kiss they'll be indulging today but he couldn't think of any better way to pass the rest of the day.